{"id":156,"date":"2004-11-25T23:40:29","date_gmt":"2004-11-25T23:40:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/3500years.com\/zsallia\/?p=156"},"modified":"2004-11-25T23:40:29","modified_gmt":"2004-11-25T23:40:29","slug":"a-new-city-an-old-fear","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jaeddy.com\/3500years\/2004\/11\/25\/a-new-city-an-old-fear\/","title":{"rendered":"A New City, An Old Fear"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>This would be exciting were I not alone, or in such circumstance as I now find myself. This city is new to me and I am unequal to the task of exploration, being weighted with such dire needs and regrets.<\/p>\n<p>I have never become accustomed to the death of a friend, but I believed this time I had what I needed to make this something to hold on to, an act of unmitigated good.  And I did succeed at that in no small measure, but in the end my presence was as it has always been- wound rather than balm. That from that night and its achingly painful end I should then tumble in to this circumstance, having all my privacy stolen, all my deepest fears rendered reality&#8230; days after returning to awareness I am still numbed from the shock of it.<\/p>\n<p>I reject the notion of fate. This horrifying turn of events seems inevitable in retrospect.  I should have prepared for it, now I am forced to improvise, to put my trust in those over whom I have but the most tenuous of control and simply wait for events to play out.<\/p>\n<p>I missed Thanksgiving with Edna and the family.  I fear I may never see them again.  I ache to weep over this, but I am so desperately tired.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This would be exciting were I not alone, or in such circumstance as I now find myself. This city is new to me and I am unequal to the task of exploration, being weighted with such dire needs and regrets. I have never become accustomed to the death of a friend, but I believed this [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-156","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-the-present"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jaeddy.com\/3500years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/156","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jaeddy.com\/3500years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jaeddy.com\/3500years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jaeddy.com\/3500years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jaeddy.com\/3500years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=156"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jaeddy.com\/3500years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/156\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jaeddy.com\/3500years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=156"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jaeddy.com\/3500years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=156"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jaeddy.com\/3500years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=156"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}