I am a creature of habit. By that I mean to say I am one given to dealing with similar situations in similar ways. For some this is a reasonable methodology, yielding adequate results; for others it is a recipe for failure, particularly in the light of Man’s general unwillingness to abandon cherished notions even in the face of incontrovertible evidence that his methodology is flawed. I rest assured that any reader encountering the previous statement is somewhat acquainted with examples of both extremes. In light of this, there is a habit of mine that I am beginning to suspect may be sabotaging my efforts both with this journal and with my larger and much less public efforts to date: I avoid becoming attached to people.<\/p>\n
This has an obvious purpose and has become such an automatic thing that I hardly notice it any longer. I have stumbled from time to time, with mixed results; however, over the vast majority of my existence it has been a necessary and reliable modus operandi<\/i>. Only now, it seems to be standing opposite my desires with regards to this journal in particular, and my life in what we shall call the Real World.<\/p>\n
I recently delved in to politics here. I detest politics, but the topic allows me to withdraw in to an analytical stance relatively devoid of emotional input. I distance myself from those who might read and perhaps be inclined to comment upon whatever notion I choose to put forth. Discussions of politics and matters philosophical are safe<\/i>. They lack intimacy, as they do not require any hint of emotional involvement in the topic at hand. They offer no real insight in to who I am and how I truly feel about the world, any person, or myself.<\/p>\n
I retreat in to politics and philosophy in this journal whenever I become uneasy with the revelations about myself. Writing of my past and present is too closely akin to intimate discourse. It is as a confession between friends or lovers and when indulged in too freely it renders me incapable of continuing. I divert myself, plunging in to topics I am not truly inclined to discuss in any depth. On the rare occasions when those topics garner an inordinate level of notice they, too, become unsafe for me, but not at the level I feel regarding my more personal revelations.<\/p>\n
The conundrum is thus: I write that I may be known even if only to those few who deign to peruse my scribbling, but allowing myself to be open in even the minimal way I have terrifies me so that I instinctively pull away. Smatterings of short bits regarding my life are followed by a retreat in to the minutiae of topics cold and arcane.<\/p>\n
Recognizing this is so would seem to be the first step towards correcting it; however, I am loath to make so rash a move.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I am a creature of habit. By that I mean to say I am one given to dealing with similar situations in similar ways. For some this is a reasonable methodology, yielding adequate results; for others it is a recipe for failure, particularly in the light of Man’s general unwillingness to abandon cherished notions even […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-148","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-the-present"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jaeddy.com\/3500years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/148","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jaeddy.com\/3500years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jaeddy.com\/3500years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jaeddy.com\/3500years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jaeddy.com\/3500years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=148"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jaeddy.com\/3500years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/148\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jaeddy.com\/3500years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=148"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jaeddy.com\/3500years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=148"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jaeddy.com\/3500years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=148"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}