{"id":137,"date":"2004-07-25T23:16:30","date_gmt":"2004-07-25T23:16:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/3500years.com\/zsallia\/?p=137"},"modified":"2004-07-25T23:16:30","modified_gmt":"2004-07-25T23:16:30","slug":"100-things-about-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jaeddy.com\/3500years\/2004\/07\/25\/100-things-about-me\/","title":{"rendered":"100 Things About Me"},"content":{"rendered":"

This was more fun than I had thought it might be-<\/b>
\n
\nI am 3500 years old, give or take a century or so.<\/p>\n

I am unsure where I was born, I have no memory of my early childhood, but I suspect it was somewhere in Scandinavia.<\/p>\n

I am not a vampire, nor any sort of mythical or supernatural creature.<\/p>\n

I have never met another like myself.<\/p>\n

I am 5 feet 3 inches tall.<\/p>\n

I used to be considered unusually tall for a woman.<\/p>\n

I confess to being annoyed that I am now considered somewhat short.<\/p>\n

I have red hair, green eyes and fair skin, but no freckles.<\/p>\n

35C-23-34<\/p>\n

I just measured myself so I could have two more entries.<\/p>\n

I have never had much great love for clothing and yet when I indulge my vanity I do so with a vengeance.<\/p>\n

I love the way I look in heels, but I hate wearing them.<\/p>\n

I wear them anyhow.<\/p>\n

The bikini is a ridiculous garment.<\/p>\n

But I look good in one.<\/p>\n

I have two homes, one in Boston, Massachusetts and another near Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.<\/p>\n

In Boston I do my own dishes. In Pennsylvania I let the staff deal with the domestic issues.<\/p>\n

I like Garum<\/a>, but I prefer to spice it up with horseradish.<\/p>\n

I am also rather fond of blended Scotch Whiskey (Single malts are for fools with more money than sense).<\/p>\n

I dislike driving, but speed thrills me.<\/p>\n

People who meet me initially find me cold and aloof.<\/p>\n

If they are men and single, they often lose that impression quickly.<\/p>\n

I am not comfortable in crowds, but I generally like people.<\/p>\n

I need to be in control of my surroundings.<\/p>\n

I often go armed in public.<\/p>\n

I am not a fan of guns, but I understand them. When you need one, nothing else will do.<\/p>\n

I am adept with many weapons. My first was a sling. Yet somehow I have found over the centuries that the club or staff is most satisfying.<\/p>\n

I can bull’s-eye a target with a throwing knife at 30 feet.<\/p>\n

I have not killed anyone in a little over thirty years. That rapist in Chicago in 1984 does not count.<\/p>\n

I have more money than I need, the result of a century or more of patient investing.<\/p>\n

I seldom hold down a job these days, but I do not enjoy being idle. I take college classes or find other ways to make mischief.<\/p>\n

My diet is built around the four basics: Meat, Whiskey, Cigarettes and Sex.<\/p>\n

Celebrities hold little allure for me; however, Tom Cruise may zip me out of my dress any time he cares to stop by. He becomes more delectable with every passing year.<\/p>\n

I feel rather the same way about Sir Sean Connery, so long as we are mentioning modern actors.<\/p>\n

Oh, very well. We might as well add Raquel Welch and Halle Berry to the list.<\/p>\n

For some reason, I find Paris Hilton endlessly amusing.<\/p>\n

I do not keep pets, though I do have horses.<\/p>\n

I lied- there is a large grey cat in the stables.<\/p>\n

I rarely remember my dreams. When I do they are almost always nightmares.<\/p>\n

My taste in music is simple- anything with a beat.<\/p>\n

I love to dance, the faster and wilder, the better.<\/p>\n

Slow dancing is nice, too, if I am with the right partner.<\/p>\n

I have it from multiple good authorities that I perform an intoxicating striptease.<\/p>\n

During thunderstorms I must control the urge to run out into the open and scream at the sky.<\/p>\n

I still do it sometimes. Alcohol is usually the determining factor.<\/p>\n

People who need to place other people into neat little categories usually label me a political conservative. I believe this is due to my preference for direct action.<\/p>\n

I am often misunderstood. It is a trait I share with the short-lived.<\/p>\n

I am rather fond of Niven’s Third and Eleventh Laws<\/a>.<\/p>\n

I detest politics.<\/p>\n

I do not want to change the world.<\/p>\n

I adore children, little monsters though they may sometimes be.<\/p>\n

I cannot get pregnant.<\/p>\n

That does not bother me so much as it used to.<\/p>\n

By my count I have raised some 137 children, none of them my own.<\/p>\n

Nobody can lie to my face and get away with it.<\/p>\n

I am a demonic poker player.<\/p>\n

The open sea terrifies me.<\/p>\n

I rarely mourn the dead. There seems little point.<\/p>\n

Many modern people would say I am a sexist. They are probably correct.<\/p>\n

If God exists He is probably unknowable, and in any case is not someone I am certain I like.<\/p>\n

Despite my feelings about God, I do have a faith of sorts.<\/p>\n

I am no great student of philosophy, but Rousseau was an idiot.<\/p>\n

I speak several languages, at least two of which I have mostly forgotten because no one speaks them anymore–not even scholars.<\/p>\n

I was so very happy when the Catholic Church stopped celebrating mass in Latin. The accents always made me snicker.<\/p>\n

English is an interesting amalgam of all the languages I have learned.<\/p>\n

I am sometimes uncertain when I am acting and when I am being myself.<\/p>\n

Guilt is a terrible emotion, but a necessary one.<\/p>\n

I once fancied myself a witch who could cast spells. Then I thought myself a Goddess. Realizing that none of this was so and that it was all my imagination was one of the most difficult admissions of my life.<\/p>\n

I am often amused by how modern Americans take reading and writing for granted.<\/p>\n

For that matter it is somewhat amazing how much else people take for granted. The human capacity for unhappiness seems unbounded by material gain and security.<\/p>\n

Contrary to popular perception, it seems that history rarely repeats itself. Yet humans do repeat the same mistakes.<\/p>\n

I have sampled many illicit drugs. Few have any effect upon me, and I find people under their influence to be boring.<\/p>\n

The Ancient Greeks had it right: the nude male form is astoundingly beautiful. Why would anyone think it ugly?<\/p>\n

I prefer my men uncut, but I have nothing against circumcised men.<\/p>\n

The first time I saw an aeroplane fly I was certain I was hallucinating.<\/p>\n

Movies fascinated me, particularly when they started making “talkies”.<\/p>\n

Westerns are very silly movies, yet I always enjoy them.<\/p>\n

The one thing I have done that I am most proud of was being a midwife.<\/p>\n

My last husband is buried in my back yard.<\/p>\n

Do not bother the police- he died in 1851.<\/p>\n

I still miss him.<\/p>\n

I strive to remain coolly in control of myself.<\/p>\n

At times I fear my own temper.<\/p>\n

I like to retreat to the wilderness for solitude.<\/p>\n

My last real camping trip lasted ten years.<\/p>\n

I sometimes miss hunting. Hunting with a rifle is just not the same as hunting with a spear.<\/p>\n

I never go anywhere without a roll of duct tape.<\/p>\n

I tried to attend college full time in the late sixties, but the activism of the time left me flat.<\/p>\n

The parties were entertaining, though.<\/p>\n

I still have no degrees of any kind.<\/p>\n

There was a nude painting of me hanging in the Musee du Louvre<\/em>, misattributed to an “Unknown 18th Century Master”. I do not know if it is still there.<\/p>\n

The painting was done in 1591 by my lover, Genevieve DuMont.<\/p>\n

When I met Genevieve it had been more than one thousand seven hundred years since I had allowed myself to care that deeply for anyone.<\/p>\n

Genevieve left me when she had the chance to marry. She broke my heart.<\/p>\n

I forgave her. She had to do what was best for her.<\/p>\n

I am afraid to research her. I want to believe she was happy.<\/p>\n

I am a competent pickpocket and cutpurse.<\/p>\n

But I try not to indulge these proclivities.<\/p>\n

I used to find telephones discomfiting but now use them almost obsessively.<\/p>\n

I still have no clear idea why I run this weblog.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This was more fun than I had thought it might be-<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-137","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-miscellany"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jaeddy.com\/3500years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/137","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jaeddy.com\/3500years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jaeddy.com\/3500years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jaeddy.com\/3500years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jaeddy.com\/3500years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=137"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jaeddy.com\/3500years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/137\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jaeddy.com\/3500years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=137"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jaeddy.com\/3500years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=137"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jaeddy.com\/3500years\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=137"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}