Morning arrived clear and delightfully cool. I took an early stroll about the center of town before checking out and loading my things in to the car, and then I set off for Sarah’s home to pick up Edna. I was not particularly eager to make the visit to the cemetery, but it seemed a […]

Posted on November 20th, 2003 by Zsallia
Filed under: Immortality, The Past, The Present | 1 Comment »

The town bore only a passing resemblance to what I remembered. The old church was still there- I wondered if people still worshipped in those same pews Mrs. Tremblay had gifted to the church so very long ago. When I had paid my visit to Jeremy’s grave more than a month before I had done […]

Posted on November 17th, 2003 by Zsallia
Filed under: Immortality, The Past, The Present | 1 Comment »

What follows was not easy to recount. I have alluded to such things before, but I have never been explicit, and even here I find myself forced to soften the words and the images. I nearly posted this elsewhere to keep it off of this site, but that would be inappropriate. If what follows offends […]

Posted on November 16th, 2003 by Zsallia
Filed under: Immortality, Regrets, The Past | 1 Comment »

This is proving to be quite vexing. I should put this behind me and think of it no more- let it lie as quietly as it has for a century or more, but it will not allow me to do that. Retrieval of the records was no mean feat itself: a company that specializes in […]

Posted on November 12th, 2003 by Zsallia
Filed under: Immortality, The Past, The Present | Comments Off on Vexatious Fate

Jeremy betrayed me. He told me he had done it in a letter he wrote some few days before his death, but in that letter he made it clear he expected I would not learn of his act for some time: “I know you, my love. I know this missive shall remain unread for decades, […]

Posted on November 9th, 2003 by Zsallia
Filed under: Immortality, Love, Regrets, The Past | 1 Comment »

In response to Mr. E’s comment on a previous post: If I were insane, how would I know? You and I could sit over coffee and have a nice chat and at the end of it you might be tempted to tell me you were fairly certain I was off my rocker, but would I […]

Posted on October 30th, 2003 by Zsallia
Filed under: Immortality, Philosophy | 1 Comment »

I need to say something, to explain something, but I find myself reluctant. No matter how many attempts I make at putting this in to written words it comes out as somewhat arrogant and condescending. Would that I could meet with every reader who happens across this journal, sit down and explain in person- that […]

Posted on October 19th, 2003 by Zsallia
Filed under: Immortality | 1 Comment »

I am slipping in to insanity. I can feel it stealing up behind me, stray thoughts and desires, those things that make up the normal background chatter of an active mind are beginning to press their way to the fore. Irrational urges I am unable to ignore. The other day a realization that a young […]

Posted on October 7th, 2003 by Zsallia
Filed under: Immortality, The Present | 1 Comment »

Who was Jeremy? Why did I love him? Why is he such a powerful presence in my life? Why am I so inadequate to the task of describing him? Jeremy was the eldest son and expected to take on his father’s law practice. There were his younger brother Reginald, and Catherine, the youngest of the […]

Posted on September 29th, 2003 by Zsallia
Filed under: Friends Lost, Immortality, Love, The Past | 8 Comments »

Why would I allow myself to love? For me love is both a selfish indulgence and an invitation to despair. It is destructive to the object of my affections, for if they return my love they make themselves a part of a relationship that will can only leave them childless and in their grave. One […]

Posted on September 25th, 2003 by Zsallia
Filed under: Immortality, Love, Regrets, The Past | 2 Comments »