In the end…

It has been a long pair of years for me since I wrote this post. Time passes quickly more often than not, but there has been a great deal of agonizing over the doubts and fears I exposed when I set down that road. Much has happened that cannot and will not find their way […]

Spring, 1965

“Are you sure about this?” Aiko asked me, her face radiating doubt as we drove through the campus. “No more clubs, no more bars… this is what’s left. Besides, they said one of the guys heard us in Chicago, so they must know what they’re getting.” She gave me her “Inscrutable Asian” look, and then […]

Things I wish I had told you… November, 1964

It had already turned cold before the bar emptied out and over the next hour the temperature dropped like a stone. I was wearing a light denim jacket over my stage outfit and the cold dug into me remorselessly, but I forced the sensation down, concentrating on listening and watching. Cigarette stubs littered the ground […]

November, 1964

The air was thick with spilled beer and old cigarette smoke.These little clubs always seemed so desolate once the crowds had filtered out. The four of us were sharing a bottle while the waitresses and the bartender cleaned up for the night. Neff and Aiko seemed relaxed and happy, but Dalene was cool and pensive, […]

August, 1964

A crowd had gathered- they always did when Dalene sat outside with her guitar, but that evening it was larger than ever. We were leaving in the morning and it seemed everyone we had met that summer wanted to stop by to hear her play one last time. She sat on the steps of the […]

Virginia, Summer, 1964

Human beings are variables. Failure to grasp this fact is the major failing of all Utopian visions regardless of their provenance, for such fantasies assume humanity can be controlled, made predictable, guided. Case in point: Four whores from New Orleans should find no haven in a small Virginia town, yet this is precisely what we […]

Confrontation

“Angie!” I was moving even before Aiko’s panicked shriek died in the air and the deputy was right behind me. We found Dalene stretched out on her back in the doorway to the bedroom, her head cradled in Neff’s lap as she twitched and gagged, foam drooling from the corner of her mouth. I froze, […]

Crisis

We were three days on the road when Dalene began digging through her bag, her face a study in quiet desperation as she pawed through her few belongings searching for something she knew she would not find. Aiko was driving with Neff beside her. Dalene and I were in the back seat. “When did you […]

A Sudden Change of Plans

I seldom attempt anything drastic without having a sense of certainty regarding the outcome. I require no guarantees, but there must be some logical expectation of success. Unfortunately I set out that morning without such expectations, instead simply counting on Jacques’s greed or, failing that, being prepared to use force- the latter option not being […]

1964

My only thought is to somehow ease you from the grip of this death spiral that defines you. There are but two things capable of touching your darkly secreted soul and you continue to hold the first at bay. I could seduce you with ease, but I fear to introduce yet another complication. All that […]