I am slipping in to insanity. I can feel it stealing up behind me, stray thoughts and desires, those things that make up the normal background chatter of an active mind are beginning to press their way to the fore. Irrational urges I am unable to ignore. The other day a realization that a young man had made a habit of admiring me as I took my morning latte mushroomed in to a ruthless seduction I was helpless to stop. He did not deserve this, to have me sweep in and out of his life like an emotional wrecking ball. He should have spent the weekend with his friends, spouting his silly politics, chasing after some doe-eyed freshman girl, not crashing about a hotel suite with me.

I expect better of myself, but such things have happened before. My grasp over my emotions slips, and it snowballs out of control, sometimes destructively so. At least this time it is only sex.

One Response to “Insanity”

  1. The following comments have been recopied verbatim from the old BlogSpot/Haloscan service, just as they originally appeared. –ZM


    C | Email | Homepage | 10.07.03 – 11:01 pm | #

    You doe-eyed vixen you.

    I hope he was truly ardent.
    TheYeti | Email | Homepage | 10.08.03 – 8:46 am | #

    Your e-mail is down.

    Hushmail is experiencing a problem- MD

    Edited By Siteowner
    TheYeti | Email | Homepage | 10.08.03 – 2:50 pm | #

    Why is it that I cannot shake the feeling that in this confession, this indulgence in raw emotion, that you’ve somehow tasted mortality… become human?
    etherian | Email | Homepage | 10.08.03 – 5:18 pm | #

    I am accustomed to being in complete control of myself, but that does not mean that I have never allowed my desires get the better of me. This disturbs me because I feel it was so sudden, though on reflection perhaps it began with the publishing of this site and I missed the signs in the euphoria of expressing myself in this open forum?

    In and of itself, this is nothing. My regret is that in acting out in this manner I have saddled an innocent with the consequences. He may walk away from this with a grin and a tale for his friends, but that is not a certainty.
    MD | Email | Homepage | 10.08.03 – 8:16 pm | #

    Certainty be damned. More people should be so lucky. To have been given a taste of the eternal, to have been shaken in any way that brings contemplation… Our mortal lives are not so fragile.
    Travis | Email | Homepage | 10.09.03 – 3:06 am | #

    Of course this never happens to me. I have to get my tastes of immortality the old-fashioned way.
    TheYeti | Email | Homepage | 10.09.03 – 7:01 am | #

    Damn it. What’s with this no-e-mail crap. Well, send word should you read this, Lady M, please do.. and I will present a certain specimen of “news” that might, given time and place, ease your current psychological status – another thing I find “jarringly” openly conveyed by this forum. I trust the minions will respect my abysmal cry for solitude and… stay away. Unless otherwise noted by Lady M or myself, do not contact me. Especially not if life depends on it.
    Loren | Email | Homepage | 10.09.03 – 5:56 pm | #

    It is somewhat distressing, yes. Hushmail offers only that some mail may be delayed, and no further information. One would think it would have been rectified by now; however, I content myself with the reminder that I get what I pay for…
    MD | Email | Homepage | 10.09.03 – 7:24 pm | #

    I chanced apon this notion, and found it simply interesting.
    Quill | Email | Homepage | 11.19.03 – 4:01 pm | #